Heartbroken and discouraged!

I have had this feeling of dread and gloom lately, I just can’t seem to shake it.  I have been reading some people's reactions to some of the many controversial issues today and I’m discouraged.  Discouraged by those who claim to be followers of God, threatening to leave a church because they or their children have to wear masks or the church isn’t doing enough to keep parishioners safe and others who were once in the forefront of Christian ministry deciding to say they are exvangelical. (This is their fancy way of saying they are leaving the church altogether) Then the most discouraging of all is the people who put themselves in front of God. This it’s all about me, spirit is not a representative being of a humble spirit.

 All of this brings to the front of my mind the statement that I heard once, “Satan doesn’t have to go outside the church to destroy the church, he just uses people from within.”  

I struggle thinking I am part of the problem and I want to ask for forgiveness of God and others for anything I may have said or done to not represent God and his church, (his bride) in the best way possible, so that those who don’t God will see something different in me that they can’t deny that God can change lives. 

I do not want to be the reason someone decides to walk away from God and His church, or even worse I don’t want to be the reason someone doesn’t even give God a chance.

Insight for today: the deeper my relationship is with God and His Word, the more like Jesus I pray I become.  I need to be humble and realize it’s not about me and what I want, it’s about God and what He wants.