Traveling a long road with no end in sight!

Take a journey with me for a few minutes as I recount the longest road trip I have taken.  This road is not what or where you might imagine. This road, come to think of it, really is more of a roller coaster.  I think of a road with it’s lines and proof of reaching a destination, as we see the signs on the road showing an exit and what’s on this exit.  What restaurant, gas station or other attraction are at this exit?  No, this is not a road, this is definitely a roller coaster. 

This roller coaster journey began almost two years ago, before COVID was a daily phrase and when life I thought was going fairly smoothly, then WHAM! A fall started a tumbling of events that just seem to never end.  

December 2019, my father took a very hard fall that ended him up in the hospital, and things have not been the same since.  My mother was already in a nursing home, while Dad was in an assisted living apartment near her. The fall made it so he had to go into rehab in the same building as the nursing home mom was in. Dad started suffering from many different infections, which his body just can’t seem to get rid of. 

Moving ahead to mid-March 2020, when the world stopped, although my world stopped before COVID closed us down.  My mother suffered a stroke from which she would not recover. She took her last breath with my father by her side. Things got worse for us all at this point, we were all stuck at home and not being able to see those who needed the in-person encouragement of family and friends. Dad continued the cycle of being in the hospital, back to rehab, back to the hospital and back again.  The number of times is more than I can count.  Then came the devastating news that my dad would need to have his right leg amputated, so in August 2020, Dad had his amputation.  Then more infections and trips to the hospital and back and forth to rehab, then in February 2021 more devastating news, Dad would now need his left left amputated.  It was a different hospital and this time only one person was able to visit dad.  

To say, I have been blessed to have a sister who has taken on so much for the care of my parents and especially now with all of my dad’s needs is an understatement.  She is amazing beyond words. 

In June 2021, we were finally able to have a memorial service for my mother, more than a year after she passed away, the emotions were still raw after all this time, because we had never gotten the closure we needed. All the siblings were able to come together to share this time of remembering our mother and the amazing woman she was.

My dad has continued to deal with infections, and a benign brain tumor that has been growing, causing his communication to slip away, frustrating him and breaking my heart as I listen trying to make out anything.  Every day I wonder what will happen today with Dad, and then there is every other challenge and change in my own life and the lives of my husband and children, co-workers and friends, that some days I wonder how I am able to be where I am, I was pretty sure I had forgotten to breathe or make a full complete thought or sentence. 

This ride continues and seems to be never ending. As I write this I am listening to a song called Constellations by Ellie Holcomb, it has been such a comfort to me. 

Insight for today: I am not alone and God has shown up every day helping me breathe and function.